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What teases you?


Post Posted Sat May 13, 2006 4:40 pm
Mogan


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Location: Bodø, Norway

Now I realise why i'ts called "BlahBlahCafe..." :?
Post Posted Sat May 13, 2006 6:13 pm
Livgivare


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Posts: 2044
Location: Sweden, at the middle!

Ronja wrote:Equin(00)xe...now I feel bit misunderstood...for me words "It's sad that there's no parenting-license" means nothing more than "it's sad that some people who NEVER should have children (and who even HAVEN"T wanted to have any) bring up some". I'm not saying about controollin anybody, it's ridicoulus...

And there's a HUGE difference between mistakes that every parent does, because it's natural that you learn during all child's life to be a parent, and mistakes, which make children not allowed to live normally, which takes them chance from the start.

There is a sentence: "Nobody had happy childhood" (I think it's some psychologist's sentence)...everyone can find mistakes of his parents, but there're mistakes and MISTAKES.

Tell me...would you sign the sentence "everybody should be a parent"? I wouldn't. But I have consciousness that from biological point of view nearly everybody can That is sad.


Referring to this case of murder...I totally agree that it'd lead to anything, I was just saying that my first instict as a mother would probably be to kill him. Which I didn't say is good.

But what I was really trying to say is that I noticed that many people here, in Poland, don't see any connections between someone's childhood and who he becomes later. I ment...take this murderer, who, according to what I believe in, couldn't be a normal, happy person (normal happy people don't kill). Probably (it's just an example there might not be the only reason) he was grown up brought up by father-alcoholic (alcoholism is a big problem here, where I live). For, let's say, 15 years of his life, nearly day by day, he was watching his drunk father beating his mother. (I'm not saying that every brutal alcoholics' child becomes a murder, not at all, just try to show probable reason of someone's problems with psychic).

My question was: do people, who watch such situations and do anything (and that's how many peole act, there's a stupid thinking that "these're family affairs") have moral right to lynch this murderer?

I have impression that in Poland there's lot of talking about young hooligans, about criminalists in general and so on, but no discussion about situation in families. People try to deal the results without knowing the reasons.

And believe me, it doesn't all look like in UK or Sweden - this country is even shown by journalist as the place where children are treated the best in Europe. Here's is still thinking that "family is saint", that "people shouldn't talk in public about family's problems"...it's changing but we still have to learn much.
Here in Sweden it is like no one have eyes to see with. It is always the same story...some child is sexually abused and the neighbours can hear the torment and see that this child is feeling bad in school. But teachers, the people that have legal rights to do things to imporve the situation is "blinded" by their own fear of loosing power and looking bad among others. It is always the same story, we don't believe that kids can tell the truth.

Now a young authistic boy was murdered in the most horrific kind of way, his mother was a bit social handicapped and was witha very dominant man. That thing only went to media when the boy was told to be missing in one paper.

Another story is of a girl that was raped over 1000 times by her father. She was giving birth of a child when she was only 13 years old. The father of that child was her own father. The maiden asked who the father was and those two said it was a boy. Later on when the child was born it was written "father unknown" on that little baby. The baby was adopted and a few years went by. The girl was pregnant again and got an abortion. All along the way, people saw that this girl was in pain. No one did anything to save her. She is 16 now and raving mad at society for not seing her torment. That father of hers did even get the costody over her and when her mother was told that if she came and took her daughter away she would loose all contact with her daughter. Even if the mother had a long list of proof on how bad this man is.

And now you Equin(00)xe tell me that pareting classes could be a bad idea? You tell me that my suggestion about having a licence of parenting is just bad. Well let me tell you, I rather sav a child and hurt the adult then just simple tell me that "just because I have not had a child of my own I don't know anything about it".

Lets face it. mistakes occur, people treat others badly, community don't do anything to make it better as it is. I think that nannys and such could be good just as a safty-net to fall back on. because if a family say no to this, it will become trouble for it.

Love Leelene <---who really feel like I am with Ronja
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I am mostly afk due to the fact that I have many exams and alot to read and study to get grades right now!
Post Posted Sat May 13, 2006 11:08 pm
GeeJee
The GUV'NOR

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What teases me is that I almost won Music For Supermarkets vinyl at ebay for 45 cents... but someone else won it because I forgot the auction.

oh snap, that was a dream :shock:
Post Posted Sun May 14, 2006 8:22 am
Equinoxe


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Equin(00)xe wrote:

At such a Young age sometimes its hard to accept that perhaps this particular boy was "mentally developed" enough to murder yet still seen in society to be seen Immature enough to not understand his actions,those sorts of cases are rare,most impulsive situations of murder are not connected with systematic,or psychological trauma at such a young age,its true that maybe this boy had been influenced or scarred by his fathers actions,but i hardly think it was a timebomb waiting to go off,this young boy would hardly have been able to calculate or be aware of his emotional state to really understand the principle of his actions,but that doesnt mean its any less a reason to do it,it could have been prevented ,but again how can you predict it.but you could see it as a connection between his own trauma and why his murdered,that is always the first correlation.

But the murderer wasn't a teenager or a child..the victim was 9 year-old boy, but he was killed by an adult.

I do apologise,i read as though the Young boy in the story was the "Murderer" through systematic abuse from his father, he went on to commit a crime
I presume you meant that it was this child who was beat by his drunken father who ended up Killing his son...


I also still have problems to express precisely what I think in English

Sounds pretty expressive and passionate from here...you project yourself quite well considering English is not your first language :D
Post Posted Sun May 14, 2006 8:43 am
Ronja
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Equin(00)xe wrote: Sounds pretty expressive and passionate from here...you project yourself quite well considering English is not your first language :D
Oh, thanx! :D
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Post Posted Sun May 14, 2006 8:46 am
Equinoxe


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And now you Equin(00)xe tell me that pareting classes could be a bad idea? You tell me that my suggestion about having a licence of parenting is just bad. Well let me tell you, I rather sav a child and hurt the adult then just simple tell me that "just because I have not had a child of my own I don't know anything about it".

And tell me how exactly,License or parenting classes would save childrens lives???
Educating people by institution doesnt mean that everyone will become intellectual and avoid violation in the world,society and mentality doesnt work like that,its like saying well ok if we educate people to drive safely then we can eliminate road deaths.

I have degrees and am educated to a high standard,does that make me any better a person than you???or any more equipped to be a father,because i have degrees in sociology and Psychology so i can learn to understand my childs psychological needs or welfare or others???does that mean that later in life i will never treat my child badly because I'm educated????or that my child will not become corrupted because his parents are educated???



I'm not saying that you should stop projecting your points because your not a parent,but until your a parent yourself,you don't actually fully understand where I'm coming from,there are no set rules,i cant tell you how to bring up your child in the same way you cant tell me how to bring up my child

You can be told how to understand things in the intimacy of a classroom,but when faced with the bigger picture what is said and done outside of the educational structure cant be told and can only be learnt from experience

many people do not attend anti natal classes does that also mean that they have a more difficult birth because they havent had the education,no it doesnt...you can educate all you want..


Education can help nuture,and I'm sure that if there were parenting classes then I'm sure a little education would help,even if the ideology saves just one child from Harm then its served a purpose,but for every child who is saved another 5 are not..its not about being selective..

This is a subject that can run and run.there are no definate answers
Post Posted Thu May 18, 2006 7:55 pm
Ronja
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I've just read that region where I live is the poorest region in the EU :shock:

I'm quite...shocked :roll:
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Post Posted Thu May 18, 2006 8:39 pm
Jett Moonwing


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Post Posted Mon May 22, 2006 2:48 pm
Ronja
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Location: Poland :)

That isn't really a thing which teases me, rather that makes me sad...the Saint Kate's church in Gdansk is now burning (reasons of fire not known yet)...it's a very old (first informations about it comes from 13th century) antique church..the roof has collapsed allready...and what's the worst thing there were some builders working there before the blaze started and there's no knowledge if they managed to run away...I'm quite sad about whole this thing :(
Last edited by Ronja on Mon May 22, 2006 2:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post Posted Mon May 22, 2006 2:51 pm
Jakob BC
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The rain, I can't get my daily biking exercise.
Post Posted Mon May 22, 2006 3:00 pm
AnDrOiD


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Synthesist wrote:The rain, I can't get my daily biking exercise.
Why not? Do you see Tour De France riders give up because of rain? :P
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Post Posted Mon May 22, 2006 3:57 pm
GeeJee
The GUV'NOR

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Ronja wrote:That isn't really a thing which teases me, rather that makes me sad...the Saint Kate's church in Gdansk is now burning (reasons of fire not known yet)...it's a very old (first informations about it comes from 13th century) antique church..the roof has collapsed allready...and what's the worst thing there were some builders working there before the blaze started and there's no knowledge if they managed to run away...I'm quite sad about whole this thing :(
I hope that's not the church where the choir rehearsed for the concert :shock:

Oh.. now I remember it was called Saint Briggit's church... pphew :? :roll:
Post Posted Mon May 22, 2006 4:11 pm
Finaero


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My geography test tomorrow... I should read to it again, but the subject was bloody boring..
Post Posted Mon May 22, 2006 4:36 pm
Ronja
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Posts: 980
Location: Poland :)

GeeJee wrote: I hope that's not the church where the choir rehearsed for the concert :shock:

Oh.. now I remember it was called Saint Briggit's church... pphew :? :roll:
Yeah...but the church I've written about (Saint Katherina's church) was...is the oldest church in Gdansk and quite an important monument. Right now I've read that the roof is totally destroyed but the fire was finally put out, after 2 hours fight, and fortunately it seems there're no victims (although unofficial informations tells something about the guard from church's tower).
Also some exhibits that had been there probably suffered :|

I'm interested in the reason of the fire starting, there're speculations that it wasn't just an accident.

Anyway...my friends coming from Gdansk and this area are quite shocked about what has happened :roll:

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Post Posted Mon May 22, 2006 5:00 pm
Jakob BC
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AnDrOiD wrote:
Synthesist wrote:The rain, I can't get my daily biking exercise.
Why not? Do you see Tour De France riders give up because of rain? :P
I am not giving up for that reason. In Tour De France, they have jackets when it starts raining and my jacket is gone for this season 8)







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